Ladies and gentlemen, these are real. Always put your sanity first and learn when to let go of all the people, situations and envirements that are toxic! Love, Tam ❤
6 Tactics narcissists will use to silence you.
Are you the victim of a narcissist’s toxic manipulation? Check out some of their most common approaches to twisting your mind -Jun 20, 2017 by R.J. Wilson.
It’s smart to know how to identify the signs that you’re being jerked around by someone with a disorder that blunts their capacity to experience empathy or treat you like a human being—for example, a narcissist.
The only way to win is not to play.
The term “gaslighting” typically refers to psychological manipulation intended to make someone question their perception of reality.
Gaslighters might claim that something didn’t happen, or that the accuser imagined some elements of her story. It’s an extremely damaging tactic, since it can compel a person to question her sense of reality.
To respond to gaslighting, try not to engage. Remain as calm as possible and cultivate an awareness; by understanding what the narcissist is trying to do, you can respond more effectively.
Perhaps most importantly, know that you don’t have to convince the narcissist or win the argument. Maintain your perspective and give yourself credit; you’re not making this up, and your feelings are certainly valid.
This classic manipulation technique is also one of the most damaging. While the method may seem obvious, it can be quite subtle if carried out by a narcissist whom you trust and adore.
The implication is that the narcissist is more mature and has developed beyond the level of the other person.
Don’t respond in kind; widening your vocabulary, calling the other person immature, or listing your academic credentials won’t strengthen your position with a narcissist.
It can be frustrating when someone changes the subject in the middle of a conversation, but when a partner does this to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, diversion can be downright dangerous. Narcissists use this tactic to derail conversations that may lead to an unpleasant result.
Instead, insist on keeping the topic of the conversation out in front. Resist the urge to respond to personal attacks; remain calm and focused, and you’ll be able to maintain control.
To make themselves seem more credible—and to dismiss their partner’s feelings—narcissists may bring another person into the mix in an attempt to “stack the deck” in their favor.
They might say, ‘Well it’s not only me who thinks this way.’
This is an especially insidious technique when the narcissist uses someone you personally trust or admire to diminish you.
The narcissist may also use a third person who could be a threat to you—an ex-lover, for instance—in an effort to force you into submission. You may feel forced to compete with the third person.
Projection is the act of taking your own thoughts, feelings, or behaviors and pushing them onto others.
There are several different kinds of projection—neurotic, complementary, and complimentary. And while most people project on occasion, narcissists frequently employ projection as a means of psychological abuse.
This is another way in which the narcissist avoids addressing their own imperfections; rather than taking responsibility for their behaviors, they force their victims to assume that responsibility.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you—except when they do. Because they really do! Narcissists have caught onto this fact and will use it to their advantage.
Of course, there’s something undeniably childish about resorting to name-calling, and that’s typically not the approach you would expect from someone who has spent their life refining manipulation tactics.
A bad nickname affects your self esteem, and studies show that name-calling affects compliance. The narcissist may or may not be aware that he’s using this form of manipulation, but the malicious intent is usually clear to everyone (except, perhaps, the victim).
How to Get Out
If any of these situations are familiar, you might be dealing with a manipulative person. When that person is your partner, you may need to get out of the relationship.
However, severe situations require immediate action. Realize that you cannot change or reason with an extreme narcissist, and that any attempts can lead to them working themselves back into your life.
If you decide to end a relationship with an extreme narcissist, Glass recommends making a clean break if possible.
Use your support system and don’t allow the conversation to continue. Block the narcissist’s number and email address and cut off any communication outlets. While this might seem harsh, it’s the only way to truly keep them out of your life.
We should note that the suggestions in this article don’t apply to every situation, and severely abusive relationships often need to be handled differently to ensure your safety.
If you or someone you know is encountering abuse, visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline website or call 1-800-799-7233.