Bu’ & Brand is now live!

Dears readers and followers,

Thank you all so much for your continued love and patience. Wait no longer because my foorwear brand Bu’ & Brand is now live on www.bubrand-world.com!


Feel free to look through our catalog and I look forward to grow with you on this journey and see you all wear these dimes!

We are on social media at FB/bubrandworld and TW/bubrandworld and we are on Instagram at @bubrand.

Make sure to walk with a classic look yet a sophisticated touch. It’s a footwear brand handcrafted in Italy with genuine leather and calf suede for fashion-like individuals. So the quality will not fail you. We have put all our time, effort and focus on the quality on this beautiful venture.

With love always,

Tam x

Sharing a few words for my daughter, Tara.

Good afternoon everybody,

Being a mother is hard. It is so hard. I know that many feminist movements are determined to make “baby mamas” look cool and give the image that it is easy but that agenda is a lie so being a single mother is harder. Now, being a single mother who happens to have a crazy baby father is even worst!

In addition to all this I happened to be a woman who works and studies so the challanges never stopped. Not to mention that I don’t have “just” one child but I have four. Yes, I still count Daniel because he is always on my mind and the things we have lived regarding his life and time with us will always stay with me. 

Today, I felt like writing the following words to Tara on a public platform because I think that mothers who are overwhelmed feel a sense of shame if they voice the fact that they are tired and exhausted. Something to do with always looking strong. Never show weakness. Y’all fail to understand that all this self inflincted oppression just damages your mental health.

I hope that this post can open a door for mothers to share that they don’t always have it together but they do try to and maybe if together we grow in a healthy direction… we can create organizations for mothers to meet and help one another in various areas of your lives.

Below are my princesses Tara, Tehya and Tianna.

Know that everything will be alright. Never be scared to seek help. I, for one, love you all readers.

Thank you for passing by as always ❤

via instagram @tambuchristel

My baby Tara,

There are so many mistakes I feel I shouldn’t do as a parent. I know that I am only human. I know that you probably see all the great things about me more than the times I doubt.

I pray that I become the mother you deserve. I do not have drugs and alcohol problems. I do not hit you and your sisters but I wish I gave you more.

I know that you all travel the world and own fancy things. I know that you all have a healthy family and loved ones around which helps you and your sisters develop in the best circumstances but I still feel like I should give you more.

Tara, you are the big sister and it gets overwhelming for you. It seems like you have to be so responsible but your shoulders shouldn’t bare any burden even though being the oldest has its natural challenges.

I try to balance life, work and you three. I try to give you all individual quality times and be care free but I still wish I could give you more.

You have witnessed my growth and shifts in frequancies and energy. I pray that only love and inspiration are what you took from them. I am sorry for the times I wondered if I failed.

Tara, without you I wouldn’t be. You’re the angel that was given to me after your brother left. I pray that you grow to love “love” and love people. I pray that you love life and never grow bitter. I love you with all that I am. I promise I’ll continue to give you the best than I am. True love 💖

Music in my resumé.

via instagram @tambuchristel

Thanks to ALL the companies that took the time to read AND reply to my CV (resume).

My resume is impressive to many yet there aren’t enough accomplishments on it to me… ahhh… are we ever satisfied though? Human kind and greed 😏❤ my CV (resume) was three pages long yet I wondered if someone would actually contact me.

I AM STILL TAKING OFFERS IN SAID POSITIONS but i would like to say that @danielstrongent may enter in works with *soon to be disclosed* company in the future.

Yes, @bubrand is now live and available to the public.

Music business and fashion business will not take away from one another BOTH my passion and BOTH my babies ❤ 

Thank you for your amazing comments regarding my achievements with my degrees, my musical journey, my new found fashion path. Thanks to all the mothers out there who just appreciate me for the personal aspect of my life that can uplift women and anybody who can related to whatever I post at a particular time. Y’all know I care about social issues and the well being of our people, women and children. Thank you for allowing my energy in your lives. I thank you for trusting me with it. I promise to honour it. Thank you.

Fighting for my life and giving back to women fighting for theirs, made me a Hero – according to my children.

via Instagram by Tambu-christel.

We dont just sit and brag about the things we have!! I have been donating my persomal “things” and encouraged my surrounding to do so for years. In addition to the monthly contributions from me to organizations of my choice… we don’t just “post” to brag or flash… we also share, give and LOVE!! 💯👌

I have been VERY fortunate to come accross organisations that helped me when my son Daniel died. Grieving your first child is horrid. Your own flesh that you give birth too and raise. I had to find ways to help other women like myself then and I do each year. //

I was surrounded with care, love and attention from my home country when I fell victim of domestic violence. I met the most beautiful women with yet the most horrible stories when all they did was to believe love, marriage and family was happiness and fullfilment although it’s work. So, each year I play my part and give back to my beautiful mamas out there. //

I have marched various protests. //

I have walked along other families and my children distributing flyers when a neighborhood child went missing. // 

When my children tell me that I am their hero it is NOT just because I am cool and young at heart. It is NOT just because although I lived some mess, I graduated from University. It is NOT just because I am all about creating new business. It is NOT just because I stay camera ready and glamourous. It is NOT just because I raised them as a single mum. //

I am their hero because I gave them AND showed them MORE than money can buy!!

Love Tam.💛💜💙💚❤

MESSAGE: “Girl, you are beautiful.”


via Facebook by Tambu-christel.

Girl, you are beautiful. Not your face. Not your body but your soul. 

The way you smile, the way you laugh and the way you are. Pure Gold and light.

This!! I always tell people that I don’t like when anyone calls me beautiful because beauty fades. If you want to grab my attention you gotta come up with real compliments such as intellect, culture, various abilities of your choice that I may have to you, values and mannerism you see in me, reference to anything related to education. Maybe you love the way I handle my home and children. 

I do take care of myself. I like looking cute, smell good and have a clean cut style so I am aware that you will notice BUT do not approach me until you see more in me more in me than “Beauty”. 

What is the use of beauty in raising these kids?

What is the use of beauty in paying these bills?

What is the use of beauty is cooking these meals?

What is the use of beauty in overall things that truly matters?

Thank you for your compliments. I truly appreciate them but flattering my ego with a stupid amount of remarks about my look is a hell NO on the low. The people who know me in real life, already know but for those I will never meet – keep this in mind if you are persuing a keeper in real life 🖒💛

With love,

Tam.

MESSAGE: “Men I previously dated were not ready for the things I was ready for.”


via Facebook by Tambu-christel.

MESSAGE TO YOUNGER GIRLS FOLLOWING ME – I can honestly say that it came a time where I would entertain unhealthy situations with men and when things didn’t work out, I thought I was to blame. However, this is how I finally came to realise I wasn’t: 

Although I am not perfect, I am the type of wife/girlfriend that would care for you, your well being, your business, your children. You family becomes mine so I do the same for them. I will ride for you in the highs and lows and comfort you when you need strength. These among so many other things. Of course, I will present myself well. BUT… THESE MEN ….weren’t ready for it at that time. Some never had that so they didn’t know how to handle it. Some went to the extend of fearing I was here to trick and trap them into other things. I never belittled them even when they were clear f**k ups. I am not the partying type. I would even “ask permission” on certain things.

Time past and E.V.E.R.Y. S.I.N.G.L.E. O.N.E of them returned!! They had to go out and see “what these girls do out there” to realise I was jewel!!! If they blocked me on some places, they unblocked me with a “Hey big head”. If I blocked them somewhere they would message me from another platform with a “Baby I miss you”.

Ladies, you are NOT necessarily the problem. Some guys don’t know how good they have it. Especially in this generation!! Again, I am not perfect and neither are you… but if you are like me reading this? Just know that the right one WILL BE READY for you and take you off the market without a doubt! Do not go back to people who did you wrong when the only thing you were guilty of was to love them and cater to them in a world where all the odds are against them!! 

It is hard when you BELIEVE to be in love but DO NOT GIVE THESE GUYS THINGS THEY DO NOT DESERVE!! Only your HUSBAND should have all the things I mentioned above and more!! KEEP YOUR GOODS AND GIFT FOR YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND!! For, only him will be worthy!!

Love, Tam ❤💚💙💜💛

Men with “inflated egos”

Via facebook by Tambu-christel

Children, 

As I grow into my personal womanhood I see the mistakes I have done in the past and some I still do but try to break away from. Today we’re gonna touch #InflatedEgo in men.

DISCLAIMER – I AM SHARING ALL THESE POSTS WITH YOU BECAUSE IT MAY HELP SOMEONE. I MAY NOT SAVE LIVES BUT I KNOW THAT MANY WOMEN STRUGGLE TO FIND THEIR OWN VOICES BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE WHAT MEN SAY “A WOMAN SHOULD BE” AND WHAT THE GOVERNMENT DICTATE WOMEN TO BE LIKE.

I was raised to be educated but a lady too. I am not one of these women acting like “dudes/ one of the guys” type. I am a lady and I am very feminine. In terms of relationships I was raised to have excellent home training and be a “traditional” wife that can do all that yet “stay in her lane” and let the head of the house just that, the head of the house. As a person, I am kind. I uplift people. I encourage them and push them to carry on believing in their beliefs. If a person feels bad or have a moment of doubt in themselves? I will make it my duty to cheer you up and bring out all the qualities about you/them.

However, I personally went as far as giving compliments to people that they didn’t deserve because it was not appropriate at a particular time to tell them “n**ga you ain’t shit”. I endured things that I know they would never tolerate from me if I did it to them because I though “Let this one go. It’s not about winning all the time”. I have been with people (also in friendship) just because I didn’t know how to break it down to them that I no longer felt we could be friends so I allowed them to treat me as though I was stupid because I could see how important it was for them but they had no clue I truly didn’t give a f**k anymore. Meanwhile, they thought they had me and were pulling some type of strings. 

I know who I am and how I operate very well. Like everybody, I doubt at times and I have to reavalute my perspectives and objectives. But, I am so much more intelligent that let it be known. I need to start trusting my own intellect sometimes! As for the people I deal with, I can tell where their emotional and intellectual abilities stop. When I feel like you are very limited with your thoughts process and/or know better but purposely chose to act ignorant knowing that that very ignorance would affect people around you ESPECIALLY those who cared about you? Makes you a premeditated serial emotional killer and abuser. I can’t mess with them mind sets.

I’m the type play along though (don’t ask me why) until one day we just don’t talk no more. Natural course of life.

Also, don’t forget that I studies #psychology and law because I was always fascinated by human behaviour. The good. The bad. Values. Upbringing. Home training. Standards. Psychopaths vs sociopaths.

My personal issue is that I fell victim of past abuses where people “conditioned” me to be/stay in a certain place hence why I am now growing and learning to put all the pieces back together but yes… I see y’all 😏😉

Lifting your men, or whoever in your life, up NOT a bad thing but know your limits, balance or if they even deserve all that. Inflated egos and narcism can be dangerous. Encourage your men at all cost but be careful you don’t create a monster (read below):

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) lists 9 criteria for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD):

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.

2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

3. Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people

4. Requires excessive admiration [regularly fishes for compliments, and is highly susceptible to flattery].

5. Has a sense of entitlement.

6. Is interpersonally exploitative.

7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.

8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

9. Shows arrogant, haughty [rude and abusive] behaviors or attitudes.

I believe the most obvious reasons for an inflated ego are:

1) unrealistic expectations regarding one’s own goals, performance and that of others. Inflated egos expect a lot from themselves and want to show the world how great they are. If they fail to do so and their most important social need is not met, they tend to blame others and see the world as unjust.

2) a deep feeling of being “not enough”. To compensate for that feeling, people with inflated egos show of the nine traits discussed above.

What all inflated egos have in common is their neediness. Instead of being socially independent and don’t depend too much on other people’s opinion and praise, inflated egos need the admiration and attention of others. They “care” about other people in a very different way than people with a healthy self-confidence. While the latter have a sincere interest in other people’s opinions and expertise without being anxious to know less or look “less successful”, inflated egos care only about how they look like next to other people, always searching for a way to prove their “importance”. Inflated egos hate being ignored, they need attention and they dislike people who disagree with them. They cling to their point of view and are unable to grasp, or accept, those of others. Unable to understand or be compassionate to people they disagree with, their overall attitude is likely to be both critical and dismissive.

People with inflated egos or narcissism often have a poor emotional intelligence. Not necessarily because they can’t see other people’s needs and point of view, but because they simply don’t care. Their capacity is “full” of their own needs and opinions.

Healthy egos, on the other hand, have both the ability and inclination to direct their attention outside themselves. More confident, and so nowhere as defensive as those with inflated egos, they’re far more likely to understand, and sympathize with, the experiences of others–especially those unlike themselves.

Thank me later.

FYI: It’s nice to read that I have a healthy ego but I am a tad narcissistic! I blame the power of selfies!! 😉

Losing value of self due to unhealthy past situations.

via facebook by Tambu-christel

Some of us women have lost the value of ourselves due to series of unhealthy relationships. Verbal abuse from our parents, family members, friends and overall people that mattered to us the most. You perhaps were bullied at school and/or by people (men and women) in your entourage growing up. Some of you/us may have never noticed the effects it truly had on us. We grew to encourage and/or entertain dysfunctional situations with our partners, new friends, our children and/or family members not knowing that we carried pain and burden that were too hard to bare.

I personally didn’t live all that but I did encounter dysfunction and sometimes it gets so deep that it becomes “comfort” as if these situations are all we know. Well children, it is NOT and you are truly free to break these chains. It seems hard. It feels very challenging but you owe your yourself to love yourself.

Have a safe healing and thanks to all my friends ❤ for all that you are currently doing and/or have done in the past to help a sis get to new levels of understanding. Love you all always.

INSPIRATIONAL STORIES: “My parents arranged a marriage for me.”

Via facebook from Jesicca Beavers in Autralia.

**Please excuse her english. I will not auto-correct it as I want it to be authentic to what she wrote. Regards, Tam.”

My family arranged marriage for me when I was 13with a guy he was 16 years old I never met him in my life and I won’t have a clue how he look till the wedding day I suppose, I was have no choice my family won’t let me go anywhere not even on to the local shop, and again in Java young marriage is very common and family arrangements mean for us to get the best partner. Long story short, -4 my wedding day ,all I have was little bit money, flip flop, and the pijama that I wore, I said I’m going to see my friend in neighbourhood, soon as I saw public transport I jump in it, I have no destination, no plans I just don’t want married. That was back in 1999, I stay homeless in buss station for 3 weeks, lucky I meet good people, store owner, they give me job and clothes during my homeless time, selling newspapers, peanuts, cigarettes I make 10 cents a day and that was wooowww back then I feel rich 😁 then I met a lady who is maid agency she took me, give me job as a maid and that when all my life begins. 2 years as a maid, then I start work for restaurant and hotels, able to study, and finally work for western company, I never return home till 10 years later, lots of thing happens in 10 years, and I’m glad I took that decision. When I’m back now in my hometown I saw my school friends they have 2-3 growing kids, have no time to look after them self, struggled with financial and have no confidence in themselves, I’ve learned so much from it. Bottom line is if we not take control of our life then the life control us. No one can change our destiny but ourself. And I’m glad I follow my gut that day. 18 years since I run away from home I met the man I love and I married to him back in 2014 I’ve never been happier. Right now I live and study Midwife in WA and my life is fantastic. This is the story that will remains in my heart forever.

Domestic violence series with Tam.

Online now – Domestic Violence: https://youtube.com/RhHIr66rUFI

I will post videos in hope that my voice and experience save a woman each day. I want them to uplift mothers and know that what happened to them was NOT their fault at all!!

Be the best you can be for your children by LEAVING unhealthy situations and show them what a HEALTHY life is. You teach children by example right? Did you know that staying in abusive situations taught your kids that abuse is fine? Meaning that they will grow to either abuse or BE abused? How would it make you feel as a mother to know that you made them believe, through your actions, that tolerating abuse was okay? Children do listen to adults but they copy what they do more than what we tell them to do!

Don’t drink. Don’t smoke. Don’t have unmarital sex. Don’t mouth off. Don’t swear. Go to school. Work hard. Teach them with your actions not your words!!

I decided to advocate for women going through domestic violence because a system needs to denounced and people need to be held accountable. Women single or not. Mothers or not need to be heard. I will be posting more videos as we go.

Thank you all for the support on social media!! I’m sorry many of us made the wrong choices in life. These poor excuses for men are the rubbish shits, not you!! Not you ladies. Not… you!!

With love always,

Tam.

My little sisters – I love you ❤

via Facebook.

THIS MESSAGE IS FOR ALL THE “LITTLE GIRLS” WHO FOLLOW ME:

Hey baby girl,

My name is Tam and I am 29 years old. I look and act like a 16yrs old teen a lot though. Oh hell it’s life. You call me big sister and I love you dearly. I am an African girl from Europe yet I landed on your mobile devices at your home. I am a free spirit, spontanious and adventurous but I am also educated. I hope that you live life to the fullest but I hope that you believe in education also.

Something in you found something special in me and I would like to tell you that I am extremely happy that you find inspiration in me but baby sis hear me out:

I am not perfect. I have done things in my life that probably made my father wonder why him! A single child. A girl? This crazy girl? Yes dad, me. So understand that what you see me wear and the way my wadrobe look is only a part of the girl in me. Like you, I doubt and I fear baby. Like you I laugh and I cried and like you I hate men 90% of the time.

I want you to do just that “find inspiration” in me to work harder. However, I do not want you to ever wish you had whatever you see me because I want you to have more within you. I want you to be a woman that understand the value of self. I want you to be stronger than I ever was. If, God forbid, I died tonight. I want to know that reading this and other relevant posts I write did teach you that life is beyond instagram. Beyond google. Beyond TV. I want your soul to be the woman I never was.

Baby girls, all of you, I love you. Be the better version of me. There are no greater than you.

Love,

Tam.

A message for my sisters out there.

via Facebook.

Black fathers gotta help black mothers to cope with everything a pregnancy is. Women are NOT cum buckets. Surrogates. Etc etc

So instead of having abortions WOMEN SHOULD NOT SLEEP WITH NIGGAS/ FUCKBOYS THEY DO NOT INTEND TO MARRY!! PERIOD!! (many woman have it as ways of contraceptions WHICH IS WRONG!!)

I understand as women we have needs too but WEAR CONDOMS if your pussy is on fire. We know that niggas out there LIE!! Let them PROVE TO YOU that he truly loves you AND THAT HE WOULD STAY if the condom broke!!!

If these niggas pressure you for sex OR pressure to have UNPROTECTED SEX?? LEEAAAAAVE!!! DO NOT LET THESE NIGGAS CUM IN YOU AND LET YOU DEAL WITH ALL THAT ALONE FOR 20yrs OF YOUR LIFE!!

Do you know how risky a pregnany is?? Do you know you could loose your life through so many complications in pregnancy?? Do you know how many have post natal depression they gotta deal with ON THEIR OWN??

YOU, sisters, gotta let these fuck boys alone and seek marriage!! Unless its rape (may god forbid) do not let them talk you outta protection!!! No sisters!!

With love always,

Tam.